Crème de’ le’ Crap: Melvin Blevins

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you’ll see nobody cares
Cuz you don’t wanna be around
When it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared

Fort Minor, Slip Out The Back

“Here ye, Here ye! Come one come all! Gather ‘round and behold a site so gruesome… so hideous… so mind boggling that it will truly leave you speechless! Not recommended for the feint of heart my little chickadees. Gather ‘round as we unveil this… the recipient of… the next… Crème de’ le’ Crap award!” </carnie talk>

Everyday it seems that we are bombarded by people who are, at best, simply stupid. But every once in a while we look out over that sea of people doddering through their day oblivious to their surroundings and blindly going through the motions, there stands one individual who longs to set himself apart from the crowd, unfortunately it is rarely though the means of doing anything productive. More often than not it usually consists of someone doing something so stupid that you just have to stand back and say to yourself: “What the fuck?”, “Were both of your parents mentally challenged?”, and “How did they manage to give birth to a child that was the total embodiment of their mental afflictions?”

As a person who comes from a background that can only be classified as a “misspent youth”, I know there are just certain things that are just typically not done, a certain “honor among thieves” that even the most deplorable criminal networks adhere to. Even among convicted rapist and murderers in the prison system, child molesters and people who harm children are typically shunned and tend to be the victims of attack by the other prisoners. One thing that holds true, no matter what situation you find yourself in is that you don’t harm children.

Children to me represent everything that is pure; when I look at a child I am envious of their uncorrupted view of the world. Their optimism and innocence, to me, represent a hope that we as a people can change and evolve into something greater than what we are. So it should come as no surprise that when a person does something that may cause irreparable damage to a child, it gets under my skin to say the least.

Some of you may or may not have heard about these two young adults in Pataskala Ohio, but to sum it up for you; they forced a two year old toddler to get high by physically restraining her and holding a hash pipe full of marijuana to her mouth while video taping it for god only knows what reason… deplorable.

The irony in this is that they would have never gotten caught if were not for their own stupidity. I know that just doing those things constitutes a certain level of stupidity, but the level that they were able to achieve far surpasses the level that they were already comfortably living at. Rather than removing the tape from the camcorder and putting it someplace safe where it would never be discovered, at some point they decided to take the video camera to a pawn shop and sell it… with the tape still in it!

Needless to say, the pawn shop owner quickly notified authorities, and they were apprehended for “child endangerment” and “corrupting another with drugs”. I cannot for the life of me think of a punishment fitting for these two, but I’m sure the inmates at whatever correctional facility they end up in will make them regret their mistake on almost a daily basis. I can only hope that the guards are vindictive enough to place them in general population and not let them be kept in a protective unit. I have friends in the Ohio State Prison System, and I’m sure that they are positively frothing at the mouth to great these two and welcome them with dicks held hard.

So it is with great distain that I present you, Melvin Blevins and Unnamed 16 Year Old Female, with the “Crème de’ le’ Crap Award” from us here at The Restricted. You are truly deserving of this highly prestigious dishonor because only stupid people get children high and only the stupidest of them all will video tape it and forget to take the evidence out of the camera before they pawn it; you are both truly creamy pieces of shit.

**To claim your award: use your commissary money to buy a box of Shredded Mini-Wheats, eat them, wait roughly 24 hours, and you prize should arrive in toilet bowl near you as soon as your cell mate decides to stop pushing your shit in.

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5 Responses to “Crème de’ le’ Crap: Melvin Blevins”

  1. 1 Chris Lempsey April 24, 2008 at 9:41 am

    Fuck you asshole I bet you wouldn’t be talkin shit if he were there bitch!

  2. 2 Red3FireAim April 25, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    Chris, Did I read your comment right? Do you actually endorse using children to get your jollies off? You’re a fucking sick bastard! Hell yeah I’d tell you that to your face! I feel for the children that will cross your path and may Karma bite you in the ass before you cause harm and corrupt our precious, innocent youth. They are our future mother fucker! Who the fuck do you think will take care of your ass when you’re old? I hope you get some screwed fucker like you to that will let you lie in your own waste filled diaper for weeks until your own feces eat through to your bones. If I were you, I wouldn’t worry about what people would say to his face because defending and participating in child abuse…my dear…is the lowest, sickest crime of them all. You better check yourself and watch your ass…Karma is.

  3. 3 melissa October 1, 2008 at 11:49 am

    Well this pissed me off to say the least! this is my brother and my neice your fucking talking about and you dont know the fucking facts! My brother is too just a child like the ones you say you care sooo much about. he is a child that was miss lead. and yes some ppl stray from time to time! im not condoling what my brother did nore am i taking up for his actions. but i must say “BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP” You dont know shit. you know what the news told you. and we all know the news gets it wrong. my brother needed help at that time and he didnt get it. he was being corrupted as you would say by another man no not sexually he was being used as someones sick dru dealer and takin advantage of he was a minor when all this happened. he too was miss treated. and bithch no he didnt leave the fucking vidiio tape in the recorder! it was the fucking hard drive piont proven you dont know the fucking facts so you dont need to be saying anything else about my brother unless you grew up with him you know who he is and you were around know all the facts and get the story straight! he is a very good young man who did something very stupid and he knows it! hes payting for what he did i hardly believe he deserves 35 fucking years thouh! did you see somke come outta that babys mouth? NO! she was coughing because she was sick!!! so one last time shut the fuck up!!!

  4. 4 tonyglasses October 2, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    if your brother is that much of a corrupted, helpless idiot then he needs to be locked away. obviously he cannot handle the responsibility of interacting with other humans. and he certainly deserves to be ridiculed and verbally tormented by us.

  5. 5 melissa December 10, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    All of u can go to HELL! You dont know my brother and the news didnt get the facts straight. He also was a child when this happened and should not be tried as an adult! But im pleased to to tell you losers instead of 35 years he only got 8 and he might get less than that after its all said and done. All of you are jerks thats my little brother and if you cant see why i am on his side then its you who are stupid! I will always have his back!

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