Crème de’ le’ Crap: Cristina Garcia

You’re sick of feeling numb
You’re not the only one
I’ll take you by the hand
And I’ll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn’t work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Three Days Grace, Pain

The heights to which people can sink will never cease to amaze me. In this day and age of technology, and humanitarianism; whenever I think that we as a people have finally evolved to a point that we can be proud of ourselves, something comes along to remind exactly how delightfully deplorable we are.

We are at a time in history where we literally have the world at our fingertips, with the advent of the web and with The Grid looking to grow to 200,000 servers within the next two years; we have the ability to share our collective wealth of knowledge in a way that our ancestors could never have dreamed of, but instead of using this semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic power for the betterment of ourselves and mankind, we blindly wade through this sea of knowledge doing the most ignorant things we can think of in the search of a little bit of internet fame. This most recent incident in Florida involving those six girls who video taped the ½ hour beating of their ex-friend to post on You Tube, just serves as yet another example of of what we will do in the quest for our “15 minutes”. That’s right I said “another example”, or did we all forget about Anthony Anderson: the ex-soldier who when he found a crippled old lady collapsed in the street, decided that it would be a good idea to video tape himself urinating on her and screaming that “This is You Tube material right here”, rather than call for help… she died on the side of the road that day. This poor crippled little old lady who spent everyday of her life being ridiculed and struggling to get by, spent the last few seconds of her life guzzling some strange limey’s piss so that he could have a top viewed video on the interwebs.

I sincerely hope from the bottom of my heart that during his three year sentence (which by no means do I feel was enough) he is gang-raped by the most well endowed, elephant dicked, nymphomaniac, Mandingo Warriors in the UK prison system on a nearly hourly basis. As for these teens in Florida… Bull-Dykes for all of them, hoards of bull-dykes with hands so big that it’s like grabbing a bunch of bananas when you shake them.

I know that may sound harsh to some of you, but get over it people; they’re just words! That’s right, they are just words on the internet and that’s what these teens failed to understand. What’s even more disturbing about this is that one of the parents, Ms. Cristina Garcia, tried to justify her daughters actions by saying (about the victim in reference to the apparent trash talking on My Space) “I don’t see why she would do that if she didn’t have the nerve to back up what she was saying.”

In this situation she’s the one who truly deserves the hoards of big fingered dykes with an anal fetish, just for being a full grown adult and failing to comprehend that what it all boiled down to were just words on the internet. If I were to brutally assault everybody who ever offended me on the World Wide Web, I’d have to quite my job just to be able to dedicate a fraction of the time needed to pull a Tonya Harding and have them all “knee capped” and put out of commission.

And that is why I name you Ms. Cristina Garcia this months Crème de’ le’ Crap, or Cream of the Crap for you intellectually challenged people. Sure what Mr. Anderson did was morally reprehensible, but at least he was made to take responsibility for his actions, you however are letting your child take the fall for your ignorance and that is just enough to make me feel that you are deserving of this very prestigious award.

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2 Responses to “Crème de’ le’ Crap: Cristina Garcia”


  1. 1 Red3fireaim April 11, 2008 at 5:22 am

    Sign, sign.
    Everywhere a sign.
    Blockin’ out the scenery.
    Breakin’ my mind.
    Do this. Don’t do that.
    Can’t you read the sign?
    Five Man Electrical Band, Signs

    Freaking forks in the road…UGH! Detour signs piss me off! Being patient is not my forte, however working through it reassures my soul that I’m not beat and I am strong. Why be so self-indulgent and caught up in our own desires? Why not instead be backbone for the youth and feeble so they can find their way around freakin annoying detour signs. I should’ve plowed right through it today as an image of Christina Garcia…this ugly fat frustrating orange blockage to human decency, appeared before me. I should’ve…to give her child the backbone needed to overcome the pain inflicted. Tomorrow I’m driving straight through that detour sign and we will feel liberated…plus I won’t be late to work.

  2. 2 christina garcia May 7, 2008 at 11:47 am

    When the entire truth comes out don’t bother me with emails con aplogies, just learn the lesson at hand not everything is black and white. There is a reason why the sheriff won’t hand over the rest of the videos. And you along with everyone else will soon see. You my friend are awrded no points. You make me sick to my stomach do you even have a job…or don’t tell me wasting your time like this is your job right?


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